If you’re like me, a person that finds it hard to say “NO” and set boundaries; you’re in the right place. Setting boundaries is hard. But, as we know or in my case still learning that saying YES to everything, even things you don’t want to do, just leaves us feeling bad, irritated and not in a good mental headspace.
I don’t know about you but I no longer want to be that person. My entire life I have been a “YES’ girlie and UGH, it is not fun at all. I worried about how someone would feel if I tell them “NO”. If they would talk to me again etc. Not realizing that I wasn’t thinking about “ME” or how I was going to feel after saying “YES” to something I don’t have the capacity for or don’t feel like doing.
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Now in my late 30’s, I am learning that I MUST set boundaries for myself, I’m learning to take care of myself better and anything that doesn’t contribute to my higher self and who I’m becoming, I’m going to be saying NO to that. This is very uncomfortable for me and until I get used to it, I will feel some guilt but, my life will be filled with so much more JOY.
Let’s learn the importance of Setting Boundaries: A Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries (and Keeping Them!)
Ever feel like others are constantly crossing your personal lines, leaving you drained and resentful? Maybe your friend or family dumps emotional baggage on you at 3 am, or they expect you to pick up their slack, run their errands because; of course you have nothing better to do with your life (sigh). Fear not, boundary-challenged friend, for the time has come to unleash your inner fence master! We’re no longer PEOPLE PLEASING; Praying for Healthy Boundaries for us all! PROVERBS 8:28-30 speaks about setting boundaries.
Why Setting Boundaries Matter:
Healthy boundaries are like invisible fences that protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. They define what’s acceptable and unacceptable in your relationships, ensuring no one oversteps and leaves you feeling defeated. I’m determined to become a healthier, better version of myself everyday. Here is a post I wrote on becoming a Healthier me, Mind body and spirit.
Strong boundaries lead to:
- Reduced stress and anxiety: No more being everyone’s emotional dumping ground!
- Improved relationships: Clear expectations foster respect and communication.
- Increased self-respect: Saying “no” empowers you and shows you value yourself.
- Better mental health: Protect your energy for what truly matters to you.
Here is an article from Healthline about protecting your personal space with boundaries.
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The Setting boundaries Toolkit:
Now, let’s build our boundary arsenal! (I’m working on these too, so you are not alone my friend)
- Identify your boundaries: What drains your energy? What behaviors disrespect you? Be crystal clear on your limits.
- Communicate confidently: Use “I” statements and assertiveness to clearly express your needs. Practice saying “no” without guilt.
- Enforce your fences: Don’t let others guilt-trip or manipulate you into bending your boundaries. Be firm and consistent.
- Prepare for pushback: Expect some resistance, especially from those used to overstepping your boundaries. Stick to your NO!
- Self-care is key: Setting boundaries can be emotionally draining. Prioritize self-care to replenish your energy. I wrote an article about a Simple self-care routine I live by, this will help Elevate your mornings.
Bonus Tips:
- Start small: Begin with setting boundaries in low-pressure situations.
- Celebrate your wins: Acknowledge your progress and build confidence!
- Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or therapist for guidance.
Remember: Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s crucial for healthy relationships and personal well-being. So, let’s grab our metaphorical shovels, build these fences, and reclaim our personal space friends! We are growing and Becoming in this season.
I hope this post inspires you to set those boundaries for yourself and stop being a People Pleaser, we’re in this together; Praying and Healing!
Let me know in the comments, how you will start incorporating these steps in your journey of setting Boundaries. Did this blog post help you? Let me know.
With Joy,
Andrea Chanise